Rampant Stagnation

I have been having a hard time feeling good about writing. I don’t feel good about doing it and I don’t feel good about what I have written.

I know that sounds depressing, like each night I go to bed curled up in the fetal position rocking myself to sleep with the barrel of a gun in my mouth, but that’s not the case at all. It’s really more of a matter of “this is where I am at” kind of thing.  I am still in good spirits, I’m just not getting anything worth while done with regard to writing.

Is it writer’s block?

No, I don’t think so.   It’s more like writer’s laziness.  I still have plenty of ideas; it’s just that none of them seem fleshed out enough to start writing. For example: I have one where I think it would be cool to do a story about a terrorist attack against the Space Elevator .  I just love the idea of a carbon nanotube rope leading into space and being held in place by a geosynchronous mass.  A Space Elevator could lead to rapid and cost effective deployment of satellites and space missions, not to mention making the prospect of a trip into space within reach of regular Joes, like you and I.

But somehow it just ain’t sexy enough.  Maybe because it  isn’t really a story idea, but rather a setting with a vague concept.

It’s like I am still waiting for that big “Ah-ha!” idea to hit, and so far I’ve just got a bunch of maybes

I also get sidetracked very easily. I am now fighting an urge to code another video game.  I program games using Dark GDK, which works with Microsoft’s C++ Express.

I recently had the idea to take photos of my nephews in various kick and punch poses, and integrate these photos into sort of an 80’s style side-scroller “Super Mario” style game.  I think my Nephews would really enjoy playing as themselves in a tailor-made video game.

I so want to be the cool uncle who does stuff like that.

But that’s a huge commitment; probably at least 100 hours of programming time to get something worth playing. And then there is the risk that it may not be that cool to them.  The “I’m in the game factor” can only go so far when I’m also competing against the Wii.

Then I get ideas for the game like how I could somehow make it educational, but real subtly so they wouldn’t know. I could do something like putting Classical music in the game instead of the normal techno crap.  But I know making it educational is the deathblow to any video game.  Ask any kid what the top twenty video games are, and none of them will list anything even remotely close to “Math-blaster”.

I resolve to get something written today, even if it’s crap, but currently find myself looking at cutting edge video cards for a fantasy desktop computer build.


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